Continue to 'light your (ass on) fire' with my rankings from EUROVISION LVII this past May in Baku, Azerbaijan. Now it's on to the second group, 36-31.
At number 36 is the lame-ass song from Can Bonomo (TUR), entitled "Love Me Back." The ship has sank on this lame duck song that should've never made the final.
At 18, Ivi Adamou (CYP) was the third youngest participant at ESC LVII, with "La La Love," one of the most over songs this year. Why did I put it at number 35? Simple. For starters, this panders to the slutwave fans, and to those who listen to such shit as Lady Gaga and Katy Perry among others. For fuck sakes, this was a blunder itself and wish that it shouldn't make the final to begin with. Also note, this could be the death knell for Cyprus in EUROVISION due to lack of government funding and support to begin with (though Sony BMG, her record company, funded her efforts to Baku).
Just like her neighbor across the water, Eleftheria Eleftheriou (GRE) should have never reached the final as well. At number 34, "Aphrodisiac" is another dud of a song, period. But the jurors put her in the final simply because of the financial crises in her country. Strictly 'Kylie-lite' for the masses!
'Love' isn't blind, but is deaf. At number 33, "Love is Blind" from Donny Montell (LTU) is so boring as hell, and lame too. Such an offering that should've never made the final. Hopefully Robin Thicke can kick his ass just for stealing his voice.
This year at ESC LVII, there are five bands (so to speak). One of those is Mandinga (ROU), whose offering "Zaleilah" was part of a weak-ass first semifinal back on May 22. The song is the first single off of their new album CLUB de MANDINGA, and it really disappointed me, hence my ranking of them at number 32. The sound is there, the flare is there, but their over-botoxed lead singer (surprisingly, yet funny, was named one of GQ's 'sexiest' women for 2012) lost me. Remember folks, this outfit has been around for about ten years, and Elena Ionescu is their second lead singer, after their original lead singer left in 2006.
The ever-belching Rona Nishliu (ALB) at number 31 with "Suus". It seems that there's that part that I feel should been made into a commercial for something...like Preparation H or even Anusol. Where her screams of "Oh oh oh ooooohh!" could describe the itching and pain that you feel in your anus after taking a shit. But it's an OK track. Too overdramatic here.
Anyway, that's 31-36. To recap 42-31:
42. Ireland
41. Austria
40. San Marino
39. Norway
38. Georgia
37. Moldova
36. Turkey
35. Cyprus
34. Greece
33. Lithuania
32. Romania
31. Albania
So there you have it. In part 3, it's all about 30-25, so don't be angry, be cheerful!
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