DISCLAIMER: This is spoof and is NOT meant to be taken seriously.
Here we go...
CROATIA. Antonija Misura "Guard Me Like I'm Hot!"
"Guard Me Like I'm Hot" is about the guard from the Croatian women's national basketball team that qualified for London 2012, and being named 'sexiest Olympian' by several sources. This is an RnB/hip hop piece that is meant to be worthwhile and lives up to its name. One of her teammates, center Marija Vrsaljko is featured on a longer remix, as she (attempts to) raps.
CYPRUS. Marcos Baghdatis "Smash Dat Racquet"
Based upon wasting racquet after racquet during a timeout earlier this year in Melbourne, hence the song's name. It's basically dirty south-flavored rap with an east coast vibe. Will catch on to the rest of Europe more than this year's ESC participant from Cyprus (better song too!).
DENMARK. Rasmus Quist & Mads Rasmussen "Row to Hell"
"Hell" in this context means 'gold.' And the gold medalists are making this statement in this grunge rock masterpiece.
ESTONIA. Gerd Kanter "Discus Flyin' Machine"
Disco fans, how would you like to take a time warp with the silver medalist in the men's discus? We'll you can! "Discus Flyin' Machine" is a masterpiece that could win everyone over. Produced by Jurgen Korduletch (he is still alive, he has facebook), who is famous for working with the likes of...Claudja Barry.
FINLAND. Tuuli Petaja "Spiritual Wind"
Piano encompanies "Spiritual Wind," a song where she encounters a magical spirit that helped guide her to gold at London. Like Euroballads? This one for you!
FRANCE. Tony Parker "Bottle Eyes"
"Bottle Eyes" is considered to be the first country music entry (unofficially) at EUROVISION. This is about Tony's involvement in an altercation between Drake and Chris Brown in which a piece of a liquor bottle hit him in a cornea. Hence why he had to wear racquetball-quality goggles for the Olympics. Yes, Tony Parker is attempting country music.
GEORGIA. Davit Modzmanashvili "I Lost to Taymazov"
No, this is NOT a cover of Greg Kihn's "Jeopardy", however this is a mellow piece accompanied to harp and piano recreating how Modzmanashvili lost to Taymazov in the 120kg freestyle final. It is somewhat teary to some.
So that's part 2 of EUROVISION: The Olympics Edition. In the next installment, will be these following countries: Georgia, Great Britain, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Israel.
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