Copenhagen 2014: Rankings of the 37, Part 2: 31-26

And we're back with part 2 of the Copenhagen 2014 countdown. Six down, thirty one to go. Let's go!

Number 31!

Sanna Nielsen with "Undo" (Sweden). Much better than the Swedish song in Malmo, but still once again I have a Swedish ESC song towards the bottom. Why? Because of the dry nature, but it is still okay. Also note to people who compare this to that rubbish song by Ciley Myrus: don't you ever compare a true European artist to mainstream trash, ever again! Show some respect punks! Also respect her for finally making it to the ESC on her seventh attempt at the Melodifestivalen, the national ESC final of Sweden.

At number 30, it is Cristina Scarlat with "Wild Soul" (Moldova). For the third straight year in a row, Moldova has sent something dry to the ESC. It is an okay song nonetheless. Hopefully next year, if it happens, would like to see Zdob si Zdub come back; they had the best Moldovan song in the ESC with "So Lucky" in 2011. Also this song was heaps better than those two craptacular songs the country had for 2012 and 2013.

Question yourself: how well would Valentina Monetta do in her third consecutive ESC appearance? I actually found "Forse/Maybe" (San Marino) her best song ever. It seems that the San Marinese ESC committee kept her and probably were thinking, "make the final or no more ESC for us." And she finally made the grand final. From "Facebook" in 2012 to "Vola" in 2013 and now this year. A huge trip in the escalator of the journey that is Valentina Monetta. Ask and you shall receive. However on my rankings, I have "Forse" number 29. Very powerful, but dry and okay.

At number 28, it's the Andres Cantor with a goatee--Axel Hirsoux--with "Mother" (Belgium). It is still better than the crap that made the final last year with that Justin Bieber look a like (simply because Roberto Bellarosa looks slightly like Bieber or any of those artists those mindless sheeple girls listen to), but why didn't it make the final? It was also very powerful, but an okay song as well. Maybe his looks the reason? C'mon Europe, you disappointed me!

Ruth Lorenzo comes in number 27 with "Dancing in the Rain" (Spain). Here's a perfect ballad, but ranked it very low because of even more powerful stuff as you'll probably see in the days to come. Okay song nonetheless.

Herciana Matmuja comes in number 26 with "Zemerini I Nje Nate" (Albania). Okay song, but not as good as last year's song. Nothing special.

After two posts, here's where I stand:

37. Poland
36. Denmark
35. Belarus
34. Latvia
33. Macedonia
32. Austria
31. Sweden
30. Moldova
29. San Marino
28. Belgium
27. Spain
26. Albania

Twenty five big ones to number one! Where will Firelight land? Common Linnets? SEBalter? Elaiza? Even Suzy? Find out as the countdown continues!

Copenhagen 2014 Reviews: Valentina Monetta "Maybe (Forse)"

For the third consecutive year, San Marino will have Valentina Monetta (pictured) represent the tiny Mediterranean country in Copenhagen with the song "Maybe (Forse)."

"Maybe (Forse)" is a very soft ballad, very atmospheric which suits her vocals a lot better than "Crisalide (Vola)" last year. She will perform in the first semifinal one week from Tuesday. In a very stacked, competitive first semifinal, I think it will be very tough to get into the final in two weeks. Therefore, she might not qualify, but who knows! Everyone in the first semifinal (even Portugal for the chavs and scum who talk shit about it) has a chance. I said it, and if you hate it, then you're not a real Eurofan. Plain and simple.

San Marino made their ESC debut in 2008. Monetta has represented the tiny country since Baku 2012. That year, "Facebook" failed to qualify for the first semifinal. The following year, "Crisalide" followed suit, except it was better than "Facebook" (I called it as it was originally was before the mandatory ESC/EBU change for copyright infringement, of course). Hopefully, she'll give the San Marinnese a chance to finally give them a break in the ESC scene. Besides this and "Crisalide," I have never really enjoyed anything ESC-wise from this country.

Up next: Tinkara Kovac "Spet."

Malmo 2013: Rankings of the 39: 27-22

Continuing with the rankings of the 39 entries at Malmo 2013, which has passed almost three months ago. Here, in part three, this deals with my rankings from 27 to 22. So let's not hesitate. Here we go...

At number 27, was a then-pregnant Birgit Oigemeel with "Et Uus Saaks Alguse" (Estonia). Did I mention the word 'pregnant'? Exactly. As you saw in both the semifinal and grand final, she sported a big bump, indicating that she was(?) pregnant. Plus her big ass dress she had on for the contest. Huge big giveaways. As for the song, it is good and filling, but doesn't live up to the aura of past stuff like Padar & Benton (2001) or Ott Lepland (2012) just to name a few. It's an okay song, nonetheless.

A song that I should've ranked higher than number 26, "Only Love Survives" by Ryan Dolan (Ireland) was one of those songs I felt was euphoric with a house formula, but should have had better results in grand final. Dead last in final? As far as song quality, it is still better than what Ireland had in 2011 and 2012 (two of the worst songs in ESC history). Let's be happy about it and tell Planet Jedwardians to fuck off, seriously. Best song Ireland has had in ESC in quite sometimes.

At number 25, Anouk's "Birds" (Netherlands) is just another simple ballad. This made to the finals unlike Joan Franka in Baku. However, this soft ballad is okay, but it's not better than "You and Me" last year. At least "You and Me" was a more moving ballad than this due to the guitar riffs. Anyway, it is good nonetheless.

Another power ballad from this year that disappointed me somewhat, but was good nonetheless, was the song I ranked as the 24th on my Malmo countdown. "What If?" by Dina Garipova (Russia) was good, and it is just in the same light as Anouk, however, compared to Anouk, this was a little breathtaking. I also saw this as a bit disappointing, compared to the aura of the grandma's in Baku, who finished runner-up in the grand final on behalf of Russia. Great dress too on her (even though I come for song not for the ESC week costumes).

At number 23, the new and improved Valentina Monetta (San Marino) was the only return from Baku, and "Crisalide (Vola)" seemed to be a far better tune compared to "Facebook" from last year. This was a huge transformation for Valentina, who went from a pop hoodlum to a woman! Ralph Siegel, a veteran who has composed ESC works over the years, and also composed "Facebook" in late 2011, returned to work with Valentina and even though it missed the grand final ticket, this was a much better improvement. One of the better songs for San Marino in ESC. And yes folks, she will be in Denmark in 2014, where once again, she will represent San Marino in ESC. I don't think it has never happened in ESC history where an artist (or artists) have represented the same country three consecutive years in a row. That will be a first!

Malmo 2013 saw two great duets. This was one of them. "Pred da se Razdeni" (Macedonia) is 22nd on my rankings. It is good and filling despite what people think. Vlatko 'Lozano' Lozanoski collaborated with Esma Redzepova on this. For both, this was their first ESC appearance, and they were chosen by the Macedonian ESC broadcaster. Vlatko is an up and coming singer from Macedonia, however, Esma, at 68, has been singing for decades. Perhaps if you watched "Borat" and heard her "Caje Sukarije," which was on the soundtrack. Esma later sued film producers and Fox over copyright issues over that song. Recently "Caje Sukarije" has been covered numerous times by Sofi Marinova, who represented Bulgaria at Baku 2012. At first it was a borderline effort to make it to the grand final, but didn't eventually qualify. I was happy nonetheless for both, and both singers are just as legendary as Kaliopi Bukle, who represented Macedonia the last couple years in ESC. Good stuff despite the former Yugoslavia states' disappointment this year.

If you haven't read the past couple days about my Malmo 2013 rankings, do so.

And now, this is where I stand:
39. Finland
38. Cyprus
37. Sweden
36. Azerbaijan
35. Belgium
34. Croatia
33. Israel
32. Moldova
31. Serbia
30. Austria
29. Iceland
28. Italy
27. Estonia
26. Ireland
25. Netherlands
24. Russia
23. San Marino
22. Macedonia

Where will Emmelie de Forest land? Zlata Ognevich? Koza Mostra? Alyona Lanskaya? The Salvation Army of the Swiss? Stay tuned.

Malmo 2013 39 For 39: Valentina Monetta "Crisalide (Vola)"

Before I proceed. Here is the drastic comparison between Valentina Monetta last year and this year.

2012:

 

 

2013:

 



Now do you see the difference?

She is back. Valentina Monetta. The same artist who represented San Marino at Baku 2012, will do the same this year at Malmo. But this time a completely different tune than last year.

Her entry for Malmo-preselected by the ESC broadcaster of San Marino-entitled "Crisalide (Vola)," is a ballad, which starts soft, and toward the end gets down hard. Take a listen:

This could be a borderline contender to make the final, but not win it all on May 18. This will be featured in the second semifinal. Her song from Baku, "Facebook" (retitled "The Social Network Song" to meet EBU standards) was in the first semifinal and failed to qualify.

With that in mind, this is heaps better than "Facebook" "The Social Network Song." That song from last year was hideous and I was glad it didn't make the final.

Hope for the best. Now real Eurofans can pull for her, and by the way, like "Facebook/The Social Network Song," Ralph Siegel wrote this one too.

Up next: a review of  Moje 3 "Ljubav je Svuda."

EUROVISION LVII: Morgan's Top 42 Rankings, 42-37

Okay guys, it's been almost three months since EUROVISION LVII came to a close in late May. You've read my blogs about the ten best songs of this year's competition, and other related stuff. But how does all 42 rank in my rankings, just almost three months later? Let's find out.

Ladies and gentlemen...for your reading pleasure...

Light your (ass on) fire! The ESC LVII 42 rankings and just like the Bud Light slogan goes...

HERE!

WE!

GO!!!

And #42 this year according to yours truly. Now most people thought Izabo or Rambo Amadeus would belong here.

Nope.

#42 on my ESC 2012 rankings...

As self predicted, one of the acts that shouldn't belong in the grand final to begin with. First semifinal this year was so weak that a few good ones were snubbed via judging and televoting. Therefore, this brings us to the Grimes twins-John and Edward, or JEDWARD (IRL). For the second year in a row, these twats represented Ireland and yet it cost them a lot in the wallet as well. Horrible song like last year, what else do you expect from these two. Ireland will (hopefully) do better next year (PS, I'm half Irish too)!

At number 41, the hip-hop duo Trackshittaz (AUT), with "Woki Dem Mit Popo." Only rap/hip hop (sans Rambo Amadeus) that competed this year. I didn't like the beat or song, if they had a hard beat and a better tune to spit on the mic with, then this could be competitive. Hence the lower ranking. I'm a fan of underground (real) rap/hip-hop and wants rap to do well at EUROVISION, but this wasn't the right song.

At number 40, Valentina Monetta (SMR)'s "The Social Network Song" (originally "Facebook") was another poor effort this year. Glad this one didn't make the final. There's something about her and this song that didn't win me over. Guess what it is? I'll explain. For starters, she's 37, performing like she's 27, in a body fit for 17 year olds, marketed toward 7 year old girls who play Barbies. Simple as that.

At number 39, Touraj 'Tooji' Keshktar (NOR) barely made it in the final in the second semifinal, in a tiebreaker with Sofi Marinova's "Lubov Bez Granici" (BUL). Both had 45 points, however Tooji had 11 countries voting for him, whereas Sofi had 10 (more later). And had a piss poor showing in 26th in the grand final. I didn't like this song, even though the beginning sounds like Benny Benassi & the Biz's "Satisfaction" (legendary song). I thought this was one of the songs that shouldn't make it through the second semifinal.

Anri Jokhadze (GEO) showed that the 'Joker' was unfunny in "I'm a Joker." This was 38th and something was not right with the song or performance. I didn't like the song period and glad it didn't go through to the grand final. I'm pretty sure he banged Gaitana (UKR) prior to the week's finals and press conferences!

"Lautar" by Pasha Parfeny (MDA) was 37th on my rankings. Typical lame ass fare and I wished that it didn't make the final.

In part 2, I will go over songs 36-31 on my ESC LVII rankings!