Copenhagen 2014: Rankings of the 37, Conclusion: Final Five

All things must come to an end, and here is no exception. 32 of the 37 entries from Copenhagen 2014 have been ranked to my personal standards, and now it's down to the final five. Who got my twelve points this year? Let's find out!

Here we go!

Number 5, and six points goes to...

Twin Twin with "Moustache" (France). It seems that France has had some good, even great tunes the last few years in this event. This is a fun song and my favorite among the grand final only performances this year because of its upbeat tempo, but yet again, the mindless sheep only gave this entry a few points and finished the bottom. A big fuck you to the juries and voters across Europe for missing the boat!

Number 4 and seven points goes to...

SeBAlter with "Hunter of Stars" (Switzerland). The world's most neutral country never fails in the ESC the past few years, regardless of artist. Sinplus, Heilsarmee, you name it. And even though a Swiss entry has missed the grand final the past few years, it was good to finally see one make it in. Love this track, and I would've wished that it would've won just for Switzerland to host the 60th edition of the event (the first ESC was at Lugano 1956).

Number 3 and eight points goes to...

The Common Linnets and the "Calm After the Storm" (Netherlands). The Dutch entries the past few years were okay, but this one lived to its hype with its country vibe, something that is needed here. Remember, musical diversity for such a contest like the ESC is key and helps all Eurofans across Europe and abroad know and select the music that will best represent Europe for at least a year. One of the best Dutch ESC entries of all time, and looking forward to their new album.

Number 2, and ten points goes to...

Softengine with "Something Better" (Finland). After last year's 'disaster' (which should've never made the final in the first place), this was a wake up call to show everyone how proper music works in Raikkonenland. One of the best Finnish ESC entries ever and this one was a contender simply because it rocked. Fuck the mainstream comparisons. Alternative rock at its finest, think of U2 when you next time you hear from these guys.

And now, my number 1 song of Copenhagen 2014 and the one that gets my twelve points is...



drumroll please...


In 3...



2...



1...

Firelight with "Coming Home" (Malta). Perhaps the best non winner in ESC history, by its light emotional rock sound. So emotional, had it won, it would've topped Lordi's "Hardrock Hallelujah" as the greatest ESC champion(s) ever (in my opinion). Not just emotional, but aural as well! This one should've won, however we all know Conchita Wurst and 'his' camp actually bought votes. I think I remember reading about what (current ESC supervisor Jon) Ola Sand saying about buying votes after Farid Mammadov's camp did it last year. Where's the penalty for Austria, because Austria should be stripped of hosting it next year. Dead people from across Europe probably voted for him. Voting was rigged and we all know. Now Russia will have their own version of the ESC, a 'Soviet' version that is, possibly beginning next year. Had this song won, Russia would have changed their minds.

So to review this whole week, here are my final standings:

37. Poland
36. Denmark
35. Belarus
34. Latvia
33. Macedonia
32. Austria
31. Sweden
30. Moldova
29. San Marino
28. Belgium
27. Spain
26. Albania
25. Montenegro
24. Armenia
23. Russia
22. Great Britain
21. Israel
20. Hungary
19. Azerbaijan
18. Slovenia
17. Ireland
16. Lithuania
15. Georgia
14. Greece
13. Ukraine
12. Portugal
11. Italy
10. Romania (1 point)
9. Iceland (2 points)
8. Estonia (3 points)
7. Germany (4 points)
6. Norway (5 points)
5. France (6 points)
4. Switzerland (7 points)
3. Netherlands (8 points)
2. Finland (10 points)
1. Malta (12 points)

So there you have it for my Copenhagen 2014 rankings. Since the ESC will have its 60th contest in Austria in May, I might do some related stuff, like 'greatest ESC song ever,' 'greatest ESC winner ever,' and so forth. Stay tuned.

Until then, "keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."

Copenhagen 2014 Reviews: Softengine "Something Better"

For the first time since 2008, Finland will have rock in the ESC. The band Softengine (pictured) will head to Copenhagen to perform "Something Better."

"Something Better"--meant to show all Eurofans throughout Europe and abroad that Softengine is offering 'something better' to text voters across Europe--than the shit they sent to Malmo last year (see below). This is an alternative masterpiece. Starts off slow, then it kicks it up as it goes hard. It is very Coldplay-ish, but still filling. No doubt about it, this is one of my favorites to win it all on Saturday the 10th of May.

They will perform in the second semifinal on Thursday the 8th of May, and will have a good showing in the results. Finland has had some good songs over the years in ESC, especially since Lordi won it all in 2006 with "Hardrock Hallelujah." Since the Lordi win, the Fins had some momentum. Hanna Pakarinen--in front of her host nation crowd in Helsinki--had a stellar effort the following year with "Leave Me Alone," another rock piece. Terasbetoni followed it up with a harder piece with "Missa Miehet Ratsastaa" the following. Waldo's People with "Lose Control"--not a rock piece, but a chilling club piece (which is also one of my ESC favorites to this day) the following year had it all, but a poor showing on grand final day due to an illness to one of the singers dampened another winning chance for the Fins in ESC. Skip to 2012, and the most recent ESC entry that I like from Finland, "Nar Jag Blundar," by Pernilla Karlsson. Here was a Swede representing Finland (such stuff you can get away with in ESC, as long as you read the rules and regulations carefully) and despite not failing to qualify for the grand final in the first semifinal, she still put out a good song.

Did I mention the song "Something Better"? If you recall, last year, the Fins voted for this shitty tune called "Marry Me!" by the blondiful Krista Siegfrids. You should also recall the same sex lock lip she did at the end of her performance (which she got away despite the fact there in the ESC rules is a ruling which dictates that shall not be any gestures of any kind allowed, even politically). She should've been disqualified. I have gay and lesbian friends (I think), but please rules are rules; her results should've been wiped out. The song sucks as well; that was purely a nul points contender for sure. Hence, the most wittiest idea for an ESC song title (I think).

Up next: Twin Twin "Moustache."